Does my fat ass make my ass look fat?

I've always been the "bigger" friend. In 6th grade I reached my current height of 5'4 and was never a size zero. I now see I was truely just curvy (good thing to be in the hispanic culture)but my nickname was "la gorda" (the fat one) while growing up. And although this name was out of love, even in the years where I was terribly underweight for my size, I saw myself as fat due to it, as well as due to the fact I wasn't able to share my "huge" clothes with my tiny, shorter, "normal" friends.
As the years went on, I wore pants 2 sizes too big, and 20 years old in the hopes that I would hide the curves I had. My mother begged and pleaded that I would wear something more appropriate for my age, but what I saw staring back at me in the mirror was huge, fat, worthless, and ugly. I exercised countless hours and ate as little as possible, but the "big frame" never changed when I looked in the mirror.
As the years went on, not only did I continue to believe I was big and fat and ugly, but proceeded to treat my body as if it was worthless. Hey, I had done everything possible, and still no change, what was I killing myself for?
Endless nights of binge drinking followed by late night drive thru was what I thought and felt I deserved. I was already fat, what was one more cheeseburger going to do?
We all know how the next few lines are going to go:
cheeseburger after burger eventually produced the image that was in my mind into real life. I became obese (my BMI says so and my doctor agrees)I reached the weight I swore to myself I would never see, bought clothes in sizes that were separated into a whole different sections,(I hate the term plus size) and kept on eating. Only now, the food was to cover up the shame and guilt I felt for doing this to myself, for letting this happen.
So now, here we are. I don't see myself as horribly as I once did, but the tire around my belly, and the fat coming out of the back of my bra still remain. The consequences of my actions will not easily be erased. I have to constantly remind myself that I didn't do this over night, therefore it will not disapear over night. There is no magic pill or grapefruit diet that is going to do this in one day. (I've done them all)
I don't have all of the answers on how I'm going to do this, or how long its going to take. What I do know is
My fat ass may make my ass look fat for now, but take a picture honey cause it won't be there for long...

Amor, Familia y SALUD!